Happy Friday everyone :) So in my last blog I wrote about how awesome prayer has been and how it has become a new ministry for some of us during this summer break. In this blog I would like to share with you guys a story about my frustrations with prayer. So here it is!
Normally before I go to sleep I read in bed for a little while. On Wednesday I am reading the last of the “Mark of the Lion” series and then see a rat on my sister Martha’s bag. I’m not usually afraid of rats so I shine the light on it and watch it scurry away. I am then dead asleep for about 15 minutes and feel something tugging or moving on my blanket. I think “no no no…it’s not possible for a rat to get into the mosquito net, I tucked it under the bed. I must be imagining it (hallucinations can be a side-effect of my malaria preventative that I took that night).”
I feel it again.
Frantically, I throw off the blanket and search for my flashlight. When it is nowhere to be found I use my ipod and feel something soft brush my fingertips. I shine the light and there it was, now by my pillow…THE RAT!! I scared it out and thought it wouldn’t come back, well…it did! I obviously left my bed at this point and decide to go into the unfurnished living room and sit on a kitchen chair.
There, I had the strong inclination that the Lord wanted me to pray. I knew there was something I needed to pray about, but I wasn’t sure what that was and kept getting distracted about thoughts of that rat or fear that there were more in the living room. I kept telling myself; someone will come out of their room and help or the rat will just leave. After almost falling asleep a few times and each time being woken up by something, I finally hear the Lord’s voice, “you didn’t pray about the rat or for help.” Then it dawned on me, I had set expectations for God, expected them without asking Him and then got frustrated when they didn’t happen. So after hours I finally laid it all out to God. I prayed that someone would come out of their room, notice me and then help. Since I knew I was supposed to be praying, I vowed that I would continue to pray until then and just wait on God’s timing. When I say ‘amen’ my host dad walks out of his room and starts talking to me. I couldn’t help but laugh, because then and there God refuted my doubts and worries that I had been struggling with for a good two and a half weeks. Doubts about God even hearing me or that they were being answered.
My host dad un-successively searched for the rat and tucked me into my mosquito net again. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep at all that night! The rat kept making noises and I was super jumpy. I prayed for the supporters who sent requests and some that didn’t and prayed for a ton of other things. Finished Harry Potter on tape, read more Mark of the Lion and still sat there waiting for the sun to come up. Next morning, my host dad said that he saw 2 rats in the living room just a few days ago and I needed to tuck something under the door so they couldn’t get into my room…that would have been helpful to know beforehand.
Scripture of the week:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people, then you won’t become weary and give up. After all you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.” Hebrews 12:1-4
I read this after reading about the apostles healing people. I was thinking, God when I pray nothing like that EVER happens. I don’t hear about that in the churches, or in other Christian Communities. Prayer and faith go hand in hand and can’t be separated from each other.
With all of this I realized just how often I put requests or expectations on my prayers. I want it done a certain way, within a certain time period and then I say ‘Lord willing.’ So I basically superimpose my will on God’s and expect Him to work. I am finding that God doesn’t work that way. I also realized that a huge part of my faithlessness is due to me. It’s about me ridding me of myself. I have to be humble enough to not seek after my benefits or asking what will happen to me. I can’t worry about happens…I’m in His hands. Things are going to happen, I feel it…He is waiting for His perfect timing and in His perfect way!
~PRAISE…a few people have emailed me prayer requests and a week later crazy cool answers to those prayers
~Continue to be praying from all of our Muslim friends and families during the month of Ramadan
~Let’s pray for our faith and our prayer. That we can start a faith praying revolution! What would it be like if we actually started praying boldly? Or if we really stopped worrying about the “us” in the equation and instead sought a faith that could move mountains? Dude…I can’t even begin to imagine these things. So let’s pray for a praying revolution